Just before Thanksgiving I decided to take the dive and try Botox. The miracle without a knife! I was so excited to see what would happen. I learned right away that Botox can only do so much. It can soften the lines around your eyes that are not caused by smiles. Smile wrinkles are there to stay with the Botox plan. But it could soften crow’s feet until you could hardly see them and it could do the same for the horizontal lines on your forehead . . . but not those above the outer edge of your eyes because that could cause them to droop. And lastly they could soften my “Angry 11s.” Those I was told are the vertical lines between your eyes from what I like to think of as contemplating too strongly for too many years. Any way the very sweet and extremely experienced Physician Assistant injected the Botox. It hardly hurt at all. Just a tiny pinch. I started looking for my new youthful face before I even got home although I had been told it could take two weeks for it to take effect. Each day I looked and watched for the miracle. Finally I noticed some softening. But I also noticed itching. I was always told you have to suffer to be beautiful so it was worth it, if I felt beautiful. It became a comical game for me watching to see what would happen. My final verdict was that I looked rather odd. When I lifted my eyebrows I had lines above the outer edge of my eyes but not on my forehead. It seemed silly looking so I decided not to raise my eyebrows for anything. Easy peasy! After three months of itching (I am told I can try another brand and it may not itch) and thinking about my facial expressions, I decided Botox is not for me now. Maybe I will try it again someday. But not now.  And I am not disappointed at all. I find it all extremely fascinating. 

I will tell you right now I support anyone who wants to do anything to make them selves feel better. I look for the elixir, and always will. I am a girly girl. I love pink! I love makeup and clothes and anything that is feminine. I fall asleep at night imagining the different outfits I can create. I dream in color and create dresses in my dreams. This is my hobby; don't judge me. I will always be that way. I hope on my deathbed I have my eyeliner and lipstick right next to me. Not for anyone else, but for me. I feel these things are what separate us from the animals! They make and keep us civilized.

So who cares . . . right? I have been grappling with aging and the changes in my looks for many years. To say the least I don’t like it one bit. Why? I don’t know. Is it because people treat you differently when you start looking older and weaker? I think that is a lot of it. I am a force to be reckoned with and my looks can’t change that but people are definitely responding to me differently. I am so glad to be part of a generation that is seeing stereotypes change. I hope I can be a part of the march to celebrate this segment of the population.  It helps to read and learn how to grow (older?) to be a better person. I am slowly figuring out what I want to be when I grow up. I want to be woman who is proud of who she is, and of her family and friends. I want to be a woman who forgives the times she reached a fork in the road and went the wrong way. I want to look at myself in the mirror and say, "Job well done girl!"

I will however get up most days and play with my makeup and think about the perfect outfit for the day’s activities. If you are going to be on a boat you should be dressed like you are going on a boat.  Fashion and beauty is an art that you wear. It is a reflection of how you see the world. Everyone has their thing and that is what makes the world go round.

Thanks for stopping by.

Peace!